At a pool, inside a soap opera being filmed by my brother. It's starring a blonde Mandy Moore.
The fourth wall falls, and we're on the set.

We've moved to a new area, and we get to see an overhead map view of the area. Jared and I are exploring through the hallways and doors of some old buildings with golf clubs on our backs, looking for a golf club. Jared seems sure as to where we're going and insists we keep looking, and all we find our abandoned alleyways. Instead we find an odd church in an old brick building with a reception area asking us in very discomforting ways if we've seen the light of God.

We're on top of a bridge, overlooking a river, and there are 4 massive serpent fish monsters, 2 are pink with blue fins and massive sharp teeth and sharp pointy heads. The other 2 are teal with pinkish hues and are skinnier and have snouty noses. The pink ones are attacking the teal ones. Boats in the river are turning over, massive waves are being thrown about, one pink one rises out of the water, so its neck is sticking out of the water and its mouth is open and about to chomp down on the head of a teal one as we look on in horror.

Then a missile fires from water and hits the pink one. It's a sub! The army has arrived apparently. We flee because apparently we're in the midst of some invasion. Doesn't seem like an alien invasion. More like some faction is attacking and their secret weapons are monsters they've genetically engineered. We're running from a guy who is dressed like a policeman but has bizarre powers and kills everyone close to him without moving his hands. We're back at the alleys, possibly because we're looking for hiding spots. The group of us continues to run but the policeman keeps following us. We're back at the weird church now. Finally, Dan Worth decides he's tired of running. He's going to try to buy us some time and fight the policeman. We're all telling him it's not worth it, but he's stubborn and he goes back and closes a door and jams it shut so we have to keep going. We keep running but we're all sad. But as we open the next door, he shows up again! He says he killed the policeman. All he had to do was sing off key!

So now the invasion is over and we're in a clearing with tall grasses and we're trying to pick up the pieces. There's a pair of ambulances parked side by side and the attendants are tending to people. We drop a few pens underneath one ambulance. I go down to reach for it but Dan tells me that's not a good idea. The pens are a lost cause and I might get the wrong ones. (Yeah I have no idea what this part's about.) But I want my pen back, so I have to climb between the two ambulances in order to be able to reach it. I have one hand and foot on the side of one ambulance and the other hand and foot on the other ambulance. Suddenly the two ambulances turn on their ignitions and start driving while I'm still in between them! They slowly start driving farther apart from each other while I'm still holding on for dear life.

And that's all I've got for you.

Another dream! It's been a while. But this one is shorter:

Anyone played Desktop Tower Defense? Go here: http://www.handdrawngames.com/DesktopTD/

In my dream I saw a similar arena, a small box on a professor's desk. Except instead of gun turrets, it's filled with small biological material that morphs its shape to create an optimum maze design. Don't ask me what that means. Anyways, the professor has made a breakthrough and has genetically engineered a new kind of wormy thing. It's like a jelly-belly banana flavour. Yellow with brown splotches. He says it's self-sustaining. Before the biological material would die after a certain amount of time (I think this is because I watched Blade Runner that night), but now, it feeds off itself, then produces more of itself, like in a never-ending cycle. So this little wormy thing is undulating in the box, eating itself and regenerating. Kinda freaky. I walk away to the other side of an atrium and I look back and now there a bunch of these strange, gooey, undulating organisms and they've grown bigger and now there are 3 or 4, a few almost humanoid blobs. Look like the professor's lost control.

Another dream.

I'm going on vacation with Jeff, my mother and I. Except we're leaving from Vancouver, and by boat. Two rowboats connected by rope. We planned on rowing the entire length of the fictional ocean south of Canada. As we set out in the Vancouver harbour, dwarved by massive battleships all around us, we start thinking about the logistics. Do we have a bailing bucket for when it rains, can we handle the waves of the ocean. A few hundred kilometres later, we're sitting on a pier, wondering, why didn't we just drive. Then my Garmont shoes fall of my feet and start floating away, so I jump into the water to get them. Then something scary happened which I can't remember, but it scared me enough to want to wake up.

Okay finally a new dream!

This one starts off in the basement of an old old house. The walls are made of rocks and I walk down this spiral staircase, kind of like I'm in the keep of a castle, there are torches lighting the walls. When I get to the basement, Dave, Dave and Wehuns from their company Agilipoint are there working. I try to say something but I'm interrupted and told to leave. So I leave and meet up with a bunch of friends outside of a building. The building is all dark, so I open the door, sneak around in the dark and find the only light switch. I turn it on and let the others in. They're like, "how did you know where that was?" And I say something along the lines of, "I grew up in this building, I know it inside out." So there's an elevator and I take it to the top floor. When I exit the elevator suddenly some assassins try to attack me with guns and swords, so I jump out of an open window to escape and now I'm on the roof of the skyscraper. I start jumping from skyscraper to skyscraper trying to escape the assassins. Suddenly the roofs I'm on become more like lawns and I realize I'm now jumping between backyards of a bunch of houses. I see one really interesting house I walk around to the front... and suddenly I'm a futuristic bazaar, with grimy tents selling random things. I walk up to one tent and my family is there, saying, "Thank goodness you're okay!" I look closely at one tent, and they're selling a bunch of random packaged meats, except the labels are like "Fresh Eli", "Fresh Dave", "Day-old John"!! My family sees my horror and they ask what the problem is. "It's the future, after all," they say.

Then I woke up.

Another dream.

I'm looking for a new apartment. I investigate one and it's dorm style. Odd.

Then David Au-Yeung is showing me a video game he's made and how easy it was to make. It's massively pixelly and suddenly I'm inside of it, running around dodging pixelly monsters. I get to the end and there's a big metal machine and I'm told that if I dare go in, I'll get more "experience points". So I go in, and my experience meter at the bottom left of the "screen"/dream, which consists of 10 circles, increases by colouring 3 more circles red. Then it machine opens up and I jump back out but it starts shaking and sparking like it's going to explode. So I jump through the ceiling and start running backwards through the level, at the top of the screen kinda like in Super Mario Bros when you run above everything and get to the teleporting pipes. Except I'm running on a white treadmill. And when I come to a gap, I fall through, and fall through a ceiling and suddenly I'm in a supermarket freezer aisle.

I'm still really tiny though and I'm dodging shopping carts and shoppers as I make my way towards the ice cream freezer. I make it and I escape video game land.

Then Leanne is showing me a textbook that explains her and all of her moods, with numbers and equations and legends and everything.

For a while there I wasn't remembering any of my dreams, but finally I got a few.

This one I'm in a big play. It's an epic version of Fiddler on the Roof, directed by Leigh Mclymont, and it's set in Victorian times. So we're wearing top hats and tuxedoes with tails doing waltzes. It seems ticket sales are going really badly and that we can't fill the seats so we're told to go home.

I go for a walk by the theatre again, and from the outside it's massive, with marble pillars, made of stone. Jared Penner is out front telling some people with tickets that the show's been cancelled. But then he goes "Psych" and says the play's just about to start.

I rush inside and on stage they're getting the guitarists ready. There are 4 of them, sitting on stools. Except 2 of them have guitars made of cardboard with showlaces for guitar strings... And Nate Gundy is one of them except for some reason he plays guitar left-handed and messes up the "symmetry" of the guitar players.

So I'm told that I have some new lines and I'm given the script. Except the script is written with no spaces or line breaks, and it's 2000 pages... And it's also Shakespeare. In the middle of Fiddler on the Roof.

And that's all I can remember.

I'm in the basement of a building with some people when the fire alarm goes up. To battle the fire in this building, instead of calling in the fire department they just flood the building with water. So we run to the stairs to get out, but someone has closed the sliding grate door and locked us down there! I catch a glimpse of a mysterious figure on the other side who runs off. So we have to search for a nother way out of the basement. We come to an open atrium where you can see the floors above, kinda like in the lobby of some fancy hotels. There are large blocks on the floor that resemble puzzle pieces and we realized we have to push them around and get them into the right position to be able to climb them to the floor above us. We manage to solve it and escape, although explosions start sounding from outside the building.

We get outside and we see there's a hole in the ground. A mass of people are standing around it. The ground starts rumbling and an alien war machine comes out of the earth, in the style of War of the Worlds, but instead of running away screaming, we all stand perfectly still. People start tiptoeing away slowly and the war machine doesn't do anything. But then one person flips and starts screaming and the thing starts vapourizing people with its death ray. The mob begins running and screaming in one direction. I duck out into an abandoned building and watch the war machine continue chasing all the people. I start making my way to the other side of the building when I get to a square spiral staircase you see in movies with clocktowers. I see a shadowy figure on the level below me and he says, "So we finally meet." I realize it's the guy who locked me in the basement to drown.

We have a quick John Woo style gun battle with akimbo pistols and slow motion, and bullets are flying as we jump through the air. I'm able to shoot him through the wood floor and as he lies there, I walk up to him, and ruthlessly take a kill shot. But I realize there's something not completely human about him. Like he was an alien undercover agent in human form sent to prepare the earth for the invasion.

I get to the other side of the building and go outside. There are tanks everywhere. I ask a nearby spectator what's going on and she tells me that the army is here and they're battling the aliens. I breathe a sigh of relief and I turn around and I'm confronted by some aliens. They're human-sized Barbie and Ken dolls but they look like their skin is gross plasticine and they have too much make up one. They look CREEPY. It looks like the aliens have come to replace us but used poor templates. One tilts her head to the side and says, "Hi Justin" in a creepy voice, which scares me so much, I wake up.

Man those were some creepy aliens

So this one starts with me in Germany. I'm hanging out with Josh Willms. I'm also continually brushing my teeth, except it's so frothy that I have toothpaste froth coming out of my mouth. So I walk around the streets of this German village like a hobo and decide I need to go find a hotel room.

Then for some reason only my mind knows, I'm in a play, and we have to go rehearse early before our play goes on at 9:00am, 1:00pm, 4:30 and 9:00. So we go to the auditorium but it's occupied by the Temptations putting on a concert so we have to go to the backyard instead of the stage. But suddenly we're all dressed in black neoprene , black helmets and with night vision goggles and we have to sneak onto the backyard, because there are laser motion sensors everywhere. We sneak onto it successfully so we're all kneeling on the grass. Except we don't do anything we just keep kneeling, waiting for the director to say something. But he doesn't so I lose patience and ask, "What the heck are we doing here??" The director looks at me like he's all offended or like I'm crazy and he yells at me in Spanish "Vamanos! (Let's go)" and he starts speaking some unintelligible jibberish to the guy beside him.

Suddenly flood lights are turned on around us and we realize we're surrounded by the Mexican authorities. They're sitting on the walls around us with machine guns. Things look glum and the director, the same one that just yelled at me in Spanish, looks at meg rimly yet wisely and says, "You're the director now".

Then all hell breaks loose and the authorities close in and start beating/arresting people. Two of them grab me by the arms and whisk me away. They know who I am and are on my side and they take me out of harm's way. But then I see Leanne being roughed up and I go up to her captors and ask them to leave her alone but they say the treatment they give me to does not extend to Leanne. So I say fine and give them a chunk of cash to bribe them and they let her go, so Leanne and I run away together. Then I see my dad is in the fracas too so I push the guys attacking him and now it's Leanne, my dad and I running away. But then I see this old lady with a walker kicking my grandma on the ground and my grandma is trying to defend herself with her arm. This pisses the crap out of me so I go over to this old lady and I absolutely punch her and the old lady flies backwards through the air about 10 feet. I help my grandma up onto her feet and the four of us flee together to a carhold. I find a running jeep inside so we hop in and drive out, crashing through the garage door as we begin our escape.

And then I woke up. Man I really wanted to know what happened after...

This was my crazy apocalypse dream right around the time of hurricane Katrina.

So it starts out I'm in the top floor of a highrise skyscraper. Suddenly somewhere in a city a terrible radioactive bomb goes off. Suddenly it's pandemonium as everyone is fleeing for their lives. I'm caught in a flood of people but then my brother calls to me from the side of the throngs of people. He says he knows a shortcut and he takes me to an elevator that no one seems to know about. We jump on some bikes and bike through the crowds. So now it's myself, Jeff, my friend Dennis Lam and Leanne and a bunch of no names biking along down a steep curve. Suddenly one of the no names loses control because a yellow car drives too close to it and he skids and crashes into the path of the yellow car and he's run over. The yellow car stops and the driver runs out screaming. So Leanne, Jeff, Dennis and I jump in and drive off. We get to this factory with ribbed sheet metal walls and suddenly the car starts glowing, so we all jump out. Unfortunately Leanne isn't able to get out in time, and the car shrinks!!! To the side of a remote control car. I'm panicking because Leanne is still inside and I chase it around and it goes into the factory and inside there's a system of tracks that the car drives around on. Finally I catch it and the workers inside are like, Give it to me! So they put in a strange machine that's attached to a tanning bed. Some crazy lights later, the tanning bad flashes and I open it up and there's Leanne safe.

Some time later, we're in the post-apocalyptic future. I'm living in a dirty apartment with my family and the windows are all broken and there are bars on them. My mom forgot to lock the front door and I get all mad at her because there are roaming bands of savages that will gladly rob us. So I go to a nearbly jazz bar. You know the pianos that also have a small counter and seats for you to sit next to? Well there are one of those, except it's maybe 40 feet long. So I sit down and a waitress comes up to me and she's all mutated and covered in entrails. But strangely I'm not grossed out because I guess that's the norm for the future. So I order something, and then suddenly I hear behind me "OH NO SHE'S GOING TO EXPLODE!!" And there's a woman who's shaking all over and I take a step towards her to help her, but then a Secret Service agent steps in my way and says "No farther". I back off but then the girl explodes (more in a pop sort of way, not in a blood and guts sort of way). Suddenly I'm taken to a higher plane, where I'm informed by an angel that because of my "selfless" act of wanting to help the exploding girl, I've become "sainted". What this really means is that I'm now been given the power to see the demons in the room around me and it's my job to kill them. So I'm returned back to the jazz bar and everything has a green tinge to it and all the demons are completely black but the have black mist emanating from them.

Then I woke up. I'd like to see a dream analyst analyze that!

So after a ridiculous REC league hockey game on Sunday night, in which a player on the other team broke his ankle, and I was on the receiving end of an intent-to-injure retaliatory body-check, I was wired on Slushy. So I didn't get to sleep until late, and I had to use my dad's cell phone's alarm clock to wake me up the next morning. So I dreamt that it didn't work and I overslept. Except I woke up in a dark room studio and there were no lights. So I had to use the cell phone as flash light. Then someone comes in and goes "THAT'S where it is." He grabs the cell phone and says he's been looking for it, since it has all the phone numbers of the kids he's got to pick up. Turns out he's like a mini-school bus driver. So then that reminds me of the non-existent Arrested Development episode, where Tobias takes Buster on a small van-bus with a bunch of kids to a kids tennis tournament, where Tobias can coach Buster to victory. HOW DOES MY BRAIN WORK???